There is no one better to talk about joy with than Dr. Malakai Coté. He exudes it. Many of us are feeling weighed down by Tyre Nichols' death, as well as the many before him. Many of us feel like we have to keep going. Is there a way that we can find our joy? How do we hold onto it when it doesn't feel like it is there? Dr. Coté discusses Black aliveness through joy and so much more. 

Malakai Coté, Ph.D. (he/him or they/them) is a licensed psychologist, clinical supervisor, and consultant whose therapeutic approaches rest in interconnection and fostering holistic healing. They earned their Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Oregon. As a psychologist, Dr. Coté has worked in university counseling center settings and currently maintains an independent practice in the Greater Sacramento, CA area. He also clinically trains and supervises at the Gender Health Center in Sacramento, CA. They have taught graduate-level courses in clinical psychology at Alliant International University. Dr. Coté is a founding member and Secretary of the newly forming Greater Sacramento Association of Black Psychologists Chapter.

His ethic of care is rooted in African-centered and liberation psychology principles and values. He specializes in serving the diverse needs of Queer, Trans, Black, Indigenous, and Persons of Color across the lifespan. They have developed expertise in providing culturally specific and SGL/LGBTQ+ affirming mental health services. Beyond providing direct therapeutic experiences, they engage in program development and evaluation consultation services with community-based organizations. They also offer professional development and continuing education workshops addressing trans healthcare and the overall well-being of African/Black people. Dr. Coté is a trained yoga teacher, and they integrate gentle movement, meditation, and breathwork into their practice.

Dr. Coté was born and raised in Kansas in the United States. He proudly identifies as a descendant of the Mende peoples in present-day Sierra Leone who thrived before the Maafa and is committed to healing, resilience, and resting in our power. He is a spouse, guide parent, puppy parent, uncle, sibling, nephew, cousin, little, grand little, and adult child of two loving and hardworking parents with a solid extended kin core. They also happen to identify under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. He is an active member of Beta Gamma Chi Fraternity, Incorporated.

Dr. Coté turns to Opening to Spirit: Contacting the Healing Power of the Chakras and Honoring African Spirituality by Caroline Shola Arewa and he is currently reading Black Aliveness, Or A Poetics of Being by Kevin Everod Quashie. I am reading "Out of the Fire: Healing Black Trauma Caused by Systemic Racism Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" by Jennifer Shepard Payne. 

Dr. Coté is listening to 90s hip hop and R&B (Jodeci, Dre, Snoop). 

This week's guest is a friend of the village, Dr. Ericka Burns is back y'all and this time we are talking colorism within our community. This is a topic of conversation that comes up indirectly and directly ALL the damn time so let's address it. 

Ericka is not doing a lot of reading these days (chile, she is busy and has too many books to choose from) but she is watching good television. She talks about her love for a Netflix show, Pressure Cooker. In addition to watching good, binge worthy television, she is listening to Megan Thee Stallion's "Plan B" and blocking haters' music from Tidal (did y'all know you can do that?)

I am reading "Gathering Blossoms Under Fire: The Journals of Alice Walker" and I mentioned trifflin' songs that are just...trifflin', those are "He's Mine" by MoKenStaf (cannot stand it) and "As We Lay" by Shirley Murdock (great song but still trifflin'). If you know of anymore artists that Ericka should block on Tidal, follow her on IG and let her know @drerickab

Make sure to follow the show on IG @cocoabutterandcommunion and check out the blog on www.cocoabutterandcommunion.com 

Enjoy the show. 

This week's guest is a friend of the village, Dr. Ericka Burns is back y'all and this time we are talking colorism within our community. This is a topic of conversation that comes up indirectly and directly ALL the damn time so let's address it. 

Ericka is not doing a lot of reading these days (chile, she is busy and has too many books to choose from) but she is watching good television. She talks about her love for a Netflix show, Pressure Cooker. In addition to watching good, binge worthy television, she is listening to Megan Thee Stallion's "Plan B" and blocking haters' music from Tidal (did y'all know you can do that?)

I am reading "Gathering Blossoms Under Fire: The Journals of Alice Walker" and I mentioned trifflin' songs that are just...trifflin', those are "He's Mine" by MoKenStaf (cannot stand it) and "As We Lay" by Shirley Murdock (great song but still trifflin'). If you know of anymore artists that Ericka should block on Tidal, follow her on IG and let her know @drerickab

Make sure to follow the show on IG @cocoabutterandcommunion and check out the blog on www.cocoabutterandcommunion.com 

Enjoy the show. 

My son, Alex drops by the podcast this week to talk about parenting, my style of parenting, having a village and music, of course. We share a lot of laughs, especially about his relationship with his dad. 

Alex is currently reading, "Stamped From the Beginning" by Dr. Ibram X. Kendi 

Chioko is reading "Ausomely Aaron" a children's illustrated book by Alexander Grevious (Yes!! This Alex!!). The book is about being on the spectrum and realizing that all of the things that made Aaron different were actually his superpowers. 

Alex's album of the year is Kendrick Lamar's "Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers" 

For more information about Alex's book, email me at cocoabutterandcommunion@gmail.com 

Follow the show on IG @cocoabutterandcommunion 

I know the topic of death and dying is scary. We don't like to talk about it or think about it. I wanted to talk to someone who helps people through this to plan for the future of their family. This week's episode, I am joined by my brother-in-law, David Grevious, to discuss what his idea of a good ancestor is and a particular way to prepare to be that good ancestor. David specializes in life insurance and he provides a personalized, knowledgable insight into providing what the folks need. We had a great discussion about changing careers, his alma mater, Howard University, life insurance and so much more. 

David is currently reading The LASER Fund: How to Diversify and Create the Foundation for a Tax Free Retirement and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius 

You can contact David at greviousd@hotmail.com (he shares why he loves the organization of hotmail) or you can call or text him at (678) 249-9171

Happy all the things y'all. This week's guest is Erin Walker, she is the founder of The C.R.Y. Space. In June of last year, Erin lost her younger sister Jessica to a fentanyl overdose. Erin and I talk about how her grieving has found purpose. 

For more information about her organization, the C.R.Y. Space, contact her at couragereallyisyours@gmail.com 

Follow the show on IG @cocoabutterandcommunion 

I have a website!! www.cocoabutterandcommunion.com or drop me a line at cocoabutterandcommunion@gmail.com 

Kevin Berthia stopped by the village to share his story of a suicide attempt, depression and what his life looks like now. We talk about his journey to the Golden Gate Bridge, the picture that captured his dark day and his mission to save others. Depression is not always darkness. Sometimes depression can look like the smiling face that greets you at your local coffee shop or your best friend that always has the tea and provides the great times.  Depression is real. Anxiety is real and suicide happens in our community. Suicide deaths are increasing among Black folks and the highest rate of death is among Black Americans aged 25-34 years of age. It is not weak to get help. It is not weak to talk to someone. You do not have to continue to push forward because it is within our culture to do so. 

To reach out to Kevin, get information about his speaking engagements or to donate to The Kevin Berthia Foundation, please go to his website www.kevinberthiafoundation.org

This week's episode features the wonderful Mama Laiwah who is in these spiritual streets. She is a spiritist, spiritual counselor, a tarot reader, and an overall badass. She works with folks dealing with life’s daily crisis so if this is you, go ahead and contact her. Her work connects y'all to your inner power through the use of spiritual tools and by spiritual tools, she means tarot reading, spiritual baths/cleansing, candle work, incense work, meditation, prayer/affirmations and spiritual counseling. She is such a delight to work with and talk to! 

Mama Laiwah is reading "Prayers New and Old" (I learned that some of us are not praying right lol) 

Mama Laiwah is listening to Deon Cole spinning the 1s and 2s and Rahsaan Patterson 

I just paid for some Anita Baker tickets for NEXT YEAR (I thought the concert was this year) but it gives me something to look forward to :).

You can get more information about her and her work at www.mamalaiwah.com 

She is on the Tik Tok and the IG @mamalaiwah (she hosts a Sunday Check In on IG)  

You can schedule time with her at www.calendly.com/mamalaiwah

In this episode, my brother and I discuss growing up in a multigenerational household, the love of our grandparents, the community we were raised in, parenting, and our relationship. Hopefully this episode is a start to a larger conversation that needs to happen to begin a healing process. Y'all will also see what I have to deal with on a regular basis by being the little sister (it has been like this my entire life). 

Nate is currently listening to West Coast hip hop, as always. He is reading "Four Hundred Souls" by Dr. Ibram X. Kendi and "The Freedom Walkers: The Story of the Montgomery Bus Boycott" by Russell Freedman with his daughters. 

This week I talk with my lovely and entrepreneurial sister-in-law, Rosalind Grevious. Over 13 years ago, Rosalind and her siblings lost their mother from a battle with breast cancer and over 20 years ago, they lost their father. We talk about the loss of parents, stories of love and Luther Vandross, and self discoveries. Oh and she shares a little about her new business. 

Rosalind is reading books on business management. I am still sifting through Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey and we are both still stuck in the 90s music wise. 

Support her and follow Rosalind on IG @unravel_rva 

Follow the show on IG @cocoabutterandcommunion or email us at cocoabutterandcommunion@gmail.com

This week, the village welcomes my friend, Kenyon Hill, father, soccer aficionado, coach, and trainer; history buff, music connoisseur and so much more. He was one of the first people I met that shared a similar upbringing, which we have talked about several times. On this episode, he shares about his upbringing in a predominately white space, his Tennessee roots and the greatness of his parents. 

Kenyon is reading: The Fall of the House of FIFA: The Multimillion-Dollar Corruption at the Heart of Global Soccer by David Conn 

Kenyon is listening to his own playlists. Follow him on Spotify. His latest creation is "85 Kareem". A playlist inspired by hip hop greats that have released new music lately, greats like Nas, Jay-Z, Masta Ace, Black Thought and others. 

Chioko loves Boyz II Men and names her favorite songs from Michael Jackson's Thriller album, Lady in My life, Baby Be Mine and The Girl is Mine. 

Follow Kenyon on IG @fttsoccer 

Hey Village! Guess who's bizaack? Jessica is! Nothing gives me greater joy than laughing but to laugh with my bestie is one of the best feelings. This episode, Jessica and I are talking about the complexity of forgiveness and what that truly means to us. We also share songs that we were singing, at a young age, that we had NO business singing (where were our mamas?) 

Make sure to follow the show on IG @cocoabutterandcommunion 

Email for comments or questions cocoabutterandcommunion@gmail.com 

I look forward to hearing from y'all. Enjoy the show.